It wasn’t a special day… In fact, it was a very routine day in our household. We had a normal school day with homework and activities after school. Then, as usual, when it was time to go to bed my children created a long list of things that just had to get done before they snuggled in for the night. The last minute hurrying around was nothing outrageous, but certainly enough to make even the most tolerant mommy’s patience wear thin.
My oldest was upstairs wrapping up her ‘must-do’ list and my youngest was with me in the kitchen getting her nightly water and ice chips (her must haves). In an effort to speed things along, I asked her if she would go in the other room and turn the lamp off. “Yes!” she replied, as she skipped out of the room with her typical eager-to-please excitement.
Not a minute later, I heard a huge crash and shattering sound. I knew that the lamp, which was glass, had fallen and was now scattered across the floor in hundreds of pieces. I ran into the other room expecting cries, cuts, and a bloody mess. Instead, I ran into my daughter as she was dashing out of the room. A quick once over showed me that she was just fine. I was relieved that we wouldn’t need any bandages or have to clean up any blood, but my relief was short lived. I am certainly not proud of what happened next.It was one of the worst moments of my mommy career…
A second after seeing that my daughter was indeed OK, I turned completely evil and I laid into her with words that would put sticks and stones to shame. “What in the world happened?!? You’ve turned that lamp on and off tons of times!” I was practically shouting. “I did an accident”, she sheepishly answered. “How did the lamp fall!? All you had to do was push the switch over!” I was shouting now. “My hand got stuck”, she defended. “Stuck?!?” I said, “I don’t even understand how that’s possible!” I ranted on a little bit longer before commanding that she go to bed.
Fuming, I started cleaning up the mess. As I was kneeling down picking up the pieces of glass, my angry thoughts were interrupted by heart wrenching sobs coming from upstairs. I stopped and sat there for a minute.All I could think was, “I did that. That little girl upstairs is heartbroken right now because of me. I made her feel defeated. I broke her heart. Because of a lamp.”
A stupid lamp! What’s worse is that the lamp, while I loved it, cost me $5.00 at a garage sale. FIVE stinkin’ dollars!! I would pay a trillion times that to make my girl happy! Yet it only took me five seconds to steal every ounce of happiness within her. My heart sank and shame set in. Did I really just do that to my daughter???
Leaving the mess, I headed upstairs to her room. I walked right over to the bed, picked up the limp ball of tears and held her as tight as I could. Fighting back my tears, I kept repeating, “I love you so much. I am so glad you are not hurt. I am so glad that you are ok.” Finally the sobs stopped and the tears subsided. I apologized for being mean and let her know that she didn’t do anything wrong. I told her that I wasn’t mad at her, I was frustrated with other things and I lost my temper.
Surely, if someone had treated me the way I treated her, I wouldn’t be so quick to forgive. But not her…she had nothing but hugs and kisses for me. Within minutes, she was ready to laugh and joke and snuggle. It was as if nothing ever happened.
That’s the moment I realized I was a perfect mom.
Not because I am anywhere near perfection, my behavior certainly proves otherwise, but because I am completely perfect for my daughter. I am everything she needs. My love, my care, my guidance, it is exactly what she needs. Even in my moments of weakness, I can show her what it means to be humble and ask for forgiveness.I am perfect for her, just as she is perfect for me. That’s why she is mine and I am hers. Not because we picked each other, but because we were paired together.
We both definitely have out imperfections, but together our imperfections are perfect for each other.
I will always aspire to do better and be better – especially as a mom. But I’m not going to stress about it anymore. Stress just causes blow ups and melt downs. Instead, my focus in on loving my children. That is the perfection that my children deserve and that is the perfection that I can give them.
LOVE is always perfect.
That’s why I know that I am a perfect mom, and that’s why I know you are too. <3
Our strength and our power lies in love. All we have to do is to remember to love first, always.
To Your Sexy and Success-fulness,
The lamp may be gone, but we decided to have some fun with the lamp shade… 🙂