Back to School

It's that fleeting moment, when I remember my little love that climbed those steps last year, which hits my heart hard.As I watched you walk up the steps of the big yellow school bus, I wondered where summer had gone.

Are we standing here again? Already?!?

I pictured the ice cream dripping down your face and arms as you anxiously tried to eat your cone before it melted in the hot sun.

I pictured your toes wiggling in the wet sand and your sea shell adorned sand castles.

I laughed to myself as I pictured you giggling on the park swing.

I’m going to miss the lazy days of summer.

Sitting in our pajamas and snuggling with your bed head until it was almost noon.

Deciding every morning what that day’s adventures were going to be.

Having a movie night in the middle of the week.

The smell of sunblock and the summer breeze.

Has it been a whole year since we stood here? Embarking again on the First Day of School…

You, all smiles with your brand new gear, and me, fighting back tears as I watch you climb each bus step.

Then you turn, flash your silly excited smile at me and wave. Now I’m really struggling to hold it together!

Not just because I’m going to miss you, not just because I will worry, but mostly because I am so proud of you.

You are not the kid who stepped onto that bus a year ago. You have grown smarter, stronger and wiser since the last ‘First Day of School’. You are ready for your new adventure and you are taking it on without reservation.

I’ll be ready too, I’m just going to need a few extra days to get used to the idea.

Watching you grow means the world to me. My heart could not be prouder.

It’s that fleeting moment, when I remember my little love who climbed those steps last year, which hits my heart hard. I grieve her cute little face for a moment because I know she is now a part of my memory. A more brilliant young girl stands in her place.

I wave back at you and say, “Have fun! I love you!”

My heart stops for a second when you say, “I love you too.”

This is going to be a great year for you. I am excited to watch you grow.

I manage to hold it together until the bus pulls out of view. I have my moment – the tears flow. Then I take a deep breath, dry my tears, and spend the rest of the day keeping busy while you linger in the back of my mind. Until the big yellow bus pulls up, you walk down the steps and tell me all about your new adventures.